By Robert Bolar · Ivins, Utah
Updated · Research checked against original sources
Children aren’t born saying “thank you.” They learn gratitude slowly, by watching the adults around them, by being asked good questions, and by practicing small rituals until those rituals become part of who they are. The good news is that the practices are simple, cheap, and often fun.
Gratitude activities by age
Ages 3–5: name it and notice it
- “Best part” at bedtime: Ask, “What was the best part of your day?” every night. Then share yours.
- Thank-you drawings: Instead of a written note, your child draws a picture for a grandparent, teacher, or helper.
- Gratitude “I spy”: On a walk, take turns spying something you’re glad is there, like a dog, a slide, or a big tree.
- Helper spotting: Point out the people who help: the bus driver, the librarian, the person stocking groceries.
Ages 6–9: make it a ritual
- Gratitude jar: Each family member writes or draws one good thing on a slip of paper every day. Read them together at the end of the month.
- Gratitude tree: Put a few bare branches in a vase. Cut leaves from colored paper. Each day, everyone writes one thing they’re thankful for on a leaf and hangs it. By the end of the month, the tree is full.
- Dinner round: Everyone shares one good thing, and why it happened. That’s the kid-sized version of Three Good Things.
- Thank-you notes with details: Help them write one specific sentence: “Thank you for the book about sharks. I read the part about hammerheads twice.”
- Gratitude scavenger hunt: Find something that makes you laugh, something soft, something someone made for you, something you use every day.
Ages 10–13: connect it to people
- Counting blessings journal: Five things a day for two weeks, the routine used in the classroom study described below. (Froh, Sefick & Emmons, 2008)
- The “why” question: When they say “I’m grateful for my friend,” ask, “What did she do?” Specific beats general.
- Behind-the-scenes thank-you: Have them find someone at school whose work goes unnoticed, like a custodian, cafeteria worker, or office staffer, and thank them.
- The 30-day challenge: Try our 30-Day Gratitude Challenge together, one small action a day.
Teens: give them ownership
- The gratitude letter: Invite them to write to a coach, teacher, or relative who made a difference. Give them privacy, and don’t grade it. Gratitude letter guide.
- Phone-based journal: The free Sunrise Journal works on any phone and keeps entries private on the device, with no account needed.
- Gratitude texts: One specific thank-you text to a friend each week.
- Service: Volunteering together often sparks gratitude more naturally than any lecture.
Gratitude games for kids
- Gratitude alphabet: Go around the car or table naming something you’re thankful for that starts with A, then B, and so on. Stuck on X? Get creative. Our A–Z list can help.
- Thankful hot potato: Pass a ball while music plays. Whoever holds it when the music stops names something they’re grateful for.
- Gratitude bingo: Make a grid of things to notice during the day: “someone held a door,” “a funny joke,” “a yummy snack.” Mark them off as they happen.
- Mystery thank-you: Each family member secretly draws a name and leaves that person an anonymous thank-you note during the week.
Gratitude prompts for kids
Print these and keep them on the fridge or at the dinner table.
- What was the best part of your day?
- Who helped you today?
- Who did you help today?
- What made you laugh?
- What food are you thankful for?
- What is something your body can do that you love?
- What is your favorite thing about our home?
- Who is a friend you’re glad you have? Why?
- What did you learn today?
- What is something new you tried?
- What animal makes you happy?
- What is something fun you did outside?
- Who would you like to say thank you to, and for what?
- What is something you have that some kids don’t?
- What was hard today, and what helped?
For teen prompts and 350 more, see 365 gratitude journal prompts.
What research says about gratitude in kids
- In an experiment with 221 early adolescents in 11 classes, students who listed up to five things they were grateful for each day for two weeks reported more gratitude, more optimism, more life satisfaction, and less negative affect than comparison groups. At a three-week follow-up, they also reported more satisfaction with school. (Froh, Sefick & Emmons, 2008)
- In a study with children and teens, writing and delivering gratitude letters helped most those who started out low in positive emotion. Their gains were still there two months later. (Froh et al., 2009)
These are encouraging but limited studies, and results vary from child to child. (Davis et al., 2016) Think of gratitude practice as one part of raising kind, resilient kids, not a cure-all.
Raising grateful kids: what grown-ups can do
- Model it out loud. “I’m so thankful Mr. Lee fixed our sink. He came on a Saturday.” Kids notice what we notice.
- Thank your kids. Thank them specifically for their help, effort, and kindness.
- Point to the people behind things. Who grew this food? Who built this playground?
- Don’t force it. A required “say thank you” is good manners. Real gratitude grows from experience and conversation, not lectures.
- Make room for big feelings. Gratitude doesn’t mean a sad or angry child should “look on the bright side.” Name the hard feeling first.
Gratitude in the classroom
- A gratitude wall where students post sticky notes.
- A weekly thank-you card to a school staff member, written by the whole class.
- A morning meeting question from the prompt list.
- A “gratitude sunrise” art project: each ray of the sun names something the student is thankful for.
Common questions
How do you teach gratitude to a child?
Model it out loud, ask simple daily questions like “What was the best part of your day?”, help them write specific thank-you notes, and build small rituals like a gratitude jar or a dinner-table round. Consistency matters more than any single activity.
What is a good gratitude activity for kids?
A gratitude jar works for almost any age. Each day, family members write or draw one good thing on a slip of paper and drop it in. Read them together at the end of the week or month.
At what age do kids understand gratitude?
Even preschoolers can learn to say thank you and notice helpers. Deeper gratitude, like understanding that someone chose to help them at a cost to themselves, tends to grow through the elementary and teen years. Activities can be adjusted for each stage.
Do gratitude journals work for teens?
Some research is encouraging. In one classroom study, early adolescents who counted blessings daily for two weeks reported more optimism and life satisfaction. Teens tend to respond best when the practice is private, optional, and their own.
Sources
Every study below was checked against its publisher or PubMed record. Links open the original.
- Froh, J. J., Sefick, W. J., & Emmons, R. A. (2008). Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being. Journal of School Psychology, 46(2), 213–233. doi.org/10.1016/j.jsp.2007.03.005
- Froh, J. J., Kashdan, T. B., Ozimkowski, K. M., & Miller, N. (2009). Who benefits the most from a gratitude intervention in children and adolescents? Examining positive affect as a moderator. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 4(5), 408–422. doi.org/10.1080/17439760902992464
- Davis, D. E., Choe, E., Meyers, J., Wade, N., Varjas, K., Gifford, A., Quinn, A., Hook, J. N., Van Tongeren, D. R., Griffin, B. J., & Worthington, E. L. (2016). Thankful for the little things: A meta-analysis of gratitude interventions. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 63(1), 20–31. doi.org/10.1037/cou0000107